Skip to main content

All my glamour is gone!!!

One of the high points of my day is waiting at our gate to receive our kindergartener. I absolutely love the way he shyly smiles and holds me tight for a moment as he steps off the bus into my arms. I also have to say hi to his friend Kashi, a bright boy with lots of curly hair and a very infectious smile. He makes it a point to greet me every afternoon when the bus stops in front of our gate and I reply in the same enthusiastic tone that he uses. These days, he considers himself obliged to make some chitchat too. For example, one day he said, "Sorry, innu ithiri late aayi"(Sorry, I am a little late today). Yesterday, as the bus stopped, Kashi shouted "Haaaayiii!!!"

Me: Haaayiiii!!!
Kashi: Ente glamour ellam poyi!!! (All my glamour is gone!!!)
Me: Meh?!?! (Imagine a cow interrupted mid-moo and you will get the sound)
Ayah: Yeah, he did say glamour...

And the bus went off, but I was left thinking...

We were looking through our old photos last week spurred on by DH wanting to find his high school class photo etc. This led us to checking out a lot of old photos and reminiscing about how wonderful we looked "in those days". There was certainly much lesser of us and more hair evident on our heads. DH even started estimating the ages of our elders in those old photos to see how he fared in hair loss compared with them! 

My thinking went in quite a different direction. I started thinking of what my reaction to my own pictures have been over the years. I don't remember much about my first few years, but I used to hate my pictures taken around the age of 8. That's about the time I started wearing glasses and was teased a lot about my looks. The teasers couldn't have helped it, my glasses were total granny ones - with black, oval frames!! I certainly didn't look very happy in the pictures I have of that time.  I think I didn't start liking my photos again till I was almost 20 years old and started wearing contact lenses.

Fast forward a few years and starting with my first pregnancy in 2004, there aren't a lot of single pictures of me and I look happy only in those in which I am clutching one or both of our kiddos. I guess I've turned critical of my looks once again because of the burgeoning weight. With that has come the tendency to stay behind the camera more than in front of it. Although it has meant an improvement in photography skills with the amount of practice I'm getting, it is also a place I don't want to be in: being overcritical of myself. I am sure when I am 60, even my ballooned figure will look pretty to me! I don't want to wait that long though. Therefore, note to self: Love yourself for what you are, not some ideal of what you should be!!!

Meanwhile I am still wondering where Kashi got his statement from!!!!

Comments

  1. Hehe... yeah ... like quite a few of your posts, it was looking into a mirror !!

    time to start asking our loved ones to click a few pics eh? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Love yourself..." Why does this realization dawn when the years have gone by :( ???

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts of an Ordinary Malayali Woman

Yesterday I watched a bunch of Malayalam movie personalities expressing wonder and stupefaction at the attempted abduction/compromising photographing/blackmailing of a noted Malayali actress. They seemed to think that such a thing was not heard of in God's Own Country at all - and it set me thinking of my life journey as a woman in Kerala. 
I think I was 7 years old when my Mummy asked to me to stop sitting in the laps of the "uncles" who came to visit us in Saudi Arabia. She refused to tell me why even though I pestered her for an explanation. But the warning was enough to awaken a sense of self-preservation in me when barely a year later, I found myself being tightly hugged from behind by an "uncle" who had wandered into the kitchen while I was mixing Tang for our visitors as my Mum had asked me. I made a fuss about not being sure if I had added enough sugar even though he insisted that I had. I yelled aloud for my mother and was instantly freed from his arm…

Be Ready!

On Sunday, I received a forwarded whatsapp image

With the typical disdain of an Anglophile, I was about to dismiss this image, particularly turned off by the mishmash that is supposed to be English in it. But the dates and the area of influence mentioned niggled me into doing a bit of research on this. You know how I feel about rumor-mongering if you have read this blog post of mine.
What I did find was an article in the Hindu - this is the link to the same  - regarding this Mr. Babu Kalayil and how he had predicted the 2004 earthquake and subsequent tsunami and how the Kerala University has a team of academics doing research with him.  The Hindu is NOT a tabloid rag and that lent the news some credibility.
Then I sat back and thought about one January morning in 2001 when the earth shook in my native town of Kottayam. It was a relatively minor quake and no one in my community was harmed. But I remembered standing still wondering what was happening to my glass of tea that was trying …

New year on a note of gratitude

Hi everyone! 
Much as I would like to subscribe to the view that each day is the beginning of a new year, the feeling of an actual new calendar year is still exciting! The last page of my 2016 diary has been written up. All the receipts and papers of the last year have been transferred to a new 2016 folder that has gone to live in the lower cupboard instead of in my desk. The 2015 folder has joined its brothers in the archives on the top shelf. The last box of decluttered items is waiting for the recycling guy in the shed. This year I even managed to clean out the garage and get rid of a lot of junk - some of which was as old as Karthi!!! 

My old planner and new diary! I am a BuJo fan now. No planner that I bought over the years was completely satisfactory because they had no space for the myriad things I wanted to keep track of.  That is when I encountered the Bullet Journal - a planning system that is (a) totally customizable, (b) very economical - you can adapt any notebook for th…