Skip to main content

How to Work Qs

I think I've discovered the best way to work queues in government offices! Y'know, the ones in which you reach the head of one queue only to discover that you have to then get to the end of another one, etc. Here's my secret....

Hunt in pairs!!!

For example, let's say A and B are at a government office bright and early (before the doors open) and find their place in a queue. Even before the doors open, B can stand in the queue while A rushes off to get a forgotten document from the car/ take a Xerox of something etc. Once the doors open, probably half the queue will rush away causing confusion in the minds of those remaining whether they are supposed to be standing in the queue or stampeding behind the ones who broke away. In this case, B can run off with the crowd to satisfy his curiosity while A holds place in the Q waiting for B to get back from his probably useless mission - and it will be a windfall in case the stampede was worthwhile. Now, suppose the officer at the window says, "Go to the next window and get a form for 5 bucks, fill it and get it back to me." Aha, here A can go join the Q to get the form while B walks back to the end of the first Q and inches forward again to the same window while wondering who will reach the their respective windows first and worrying whether A will come on time.

More activities to do while in the Q would be:
1. Counting the number of vehicles in the office compound
2. Fashion critiique - not much scope for it in front of a govt. office
3. Dispensing thoroughly useless information among fellow-queuees
4. Calling down curses upon the heads of all the employees in the building - can be a group activity if fellow queuees are agreeable
5. Counting the tiles on the roof of the office building - caution: might cause a crick in the neck. Not very pleasant

If you are fortunate, A might get the form before B reaches the window and then A can take position in the Q while B goes off to the side to fill in the form in record speed while consulting A on doubtful points. This tandem work can go on until you reach a point where there is no Q any more, but just a general crowd around an officer's desk. Here the combined bulk of A and B can be used effectively to work their way to the front of the crowd. One can elbow his way in while the other can smile apologetically at the elbowed (former queuees) and avoid an instant lynching. Then, while A explains to the concerned official, B can alternatively simper and sigh until the said official is intimidated / just simply crowded into doing the essential just to avoid AB hanging over her desk.

Everything done in half the time! Howzzat!!!

Discalimer: This may or may not be a partially true account of a personal experience!!! Follow on strictly your own responsibility.

On a more serious note: I was wondering about the poor officials who work in those hell holes that are called government offices. The buiding was at least 200+ years old, the fans might have been prototypes of the first ceiling fan, The gerneral dinginess and stuffiness due to the open records storage were positively unbearable. Cramped workspaces, and the prospect of nothing better even if you are transferred to other places. Believe me, since we decided to build a home, I've been to several govt. offices and it is the same everywhere. Is it any wonder that some times they look so sour and behave as though they are doing some charitable deed for you. In fact, isn't it just miraculous and ample proof of human fortitude that most of them discharge their duties promptly and cheerfully! People working in swank corporate offices, rejoice and be thankful!!!!


Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts of an Ordinary Malayali Woman

Yesterday I watched a bunch of Malayalam movie personalities expressing wonder and stupefaction at the attempted abduction/compromising photographing/blackmailing of a noted Malayali actress. They seemed to think that such a thing was not heard of in God's Own Country at all - and it set me thinking of my life journey as a woman in Kerala. 
I think I was 7 years old when my Mummy asked to me to stop sitting in the laps of the "uncles" who came to visit us in Saudi Arabia. She refused to tell me why even though I pestered her for an explanation. But the warning was enough to awaken a sense of self-preservation in me when barely a year later, I found myself being tightly hugged from behind by an "uncle" who had wandered into the kitchen while I was mixing Tang for our visitors as my Mum had asked me. I made a fuss about not being sure if I had added enough sugar even though he insisted that I had. I yelled aloud for my mother and was instantly freed from his arm…

Be Ready!

On Sunday, I received a forwarded whatsapp image

With the typical disdain of an Anglophile, I was about to dismiss this image, particularly turned off by the mishmash that is supposed to be English in it. But the dates and the area of influence mentioned niggled me into doing a bit of research on this. You know how I feel about rumor-mongering if you have read this blog post of mine.
What I did find was an article in the Hindu - this is the link to the same  - regarding this Mr. Babu Kalayil and how he had predicted the 2004 earthquake and subsequent tsunami and how the Kerala University has a team of academics doing research with him.  The Hindu is NOT a tabloid rag and that lent the news some credibility.
Then I sat back and thought about one January morning in 2001 when the earth shook in my native town of Kottayam. It was a relatively minor quake and no one in my community was harmed. But I remembered standing still wondering what was happening to my glass of tea that was trying …

New year on a note of gratitude

Hi everyone! 
Much as I would like to subscribe to the view that each day is the beginning of a new year, the feeling of an actual new calendar year is still exciting! The last page of my 2016 diary has been written up. All the receipts and papers of the last year have been transferred to a new 2016 folder that has gone to live in the lower cupboard instead of in my desk. The 2015 folder has joined its brothers in the archives on the top shelf. The last box of decluttered items is waiting for the recycling guy in the shed. This year I even managed to clean out the garage and get rid of a lot of junk - some of which was as old as Karthi!!! 

My old planner and new diary! I am a BuJo fan now. No planner that I bought over the years was completely satisfactory because they had no space for the myriad things I wanted to keep track of.  That is when I encountered the Bullet Journal - a planning system that is (a) totally customizable, (b) very economical - you can adapt any notebook for th…