Wish You All a Happy (Soggy) Onam!

All my flower-gardening efforts were mainly geared towards one purpose: starting an Onam pookkalam tradition at Karthi. For that sole reason I gathered and planted my old, native favorites,  Chemparathi, Chethi, Nanthyarvattam, Banthi, Vaadamulla, Kolambi etc. For two years the soil and weeds resisted my efforts strenuosly, but I prevailed with the help of heaps of cow manure and biogas waste water. This year, all my efforts literally bore flowers. I happily looked forward to the dawn of Atham....

And it rained... on Atham, Chithira, Chothi and has gone on raining since then!!! Here was our puny, soggy attempt for Atham in defiance to the climate...

It's no fun pulling soggy flowers off the plants, so I went for minimal damage. Well, we'll do it next year for sure!!! Meanwhile I'll find more old favorites and concentrate on growing them in this exceptionally rainy year! 

And this grainy old picture took me on a nostalgic trip down memory lane...

That's me in the middle with my cousins on either side. Now do you wonder why I want to revive this tradition? 

Meanwhile someone has come visiting at Karthi. The first thing she did was to scare me out of my wits when I opened our back door at dusk two days ago. The next morning she turned up again at my back doorstep and continually complained while I hung up the day's washing (a very optimistic endeavor in this climate - hanging up washing, that is!). I had to take pity and offer something. 

She was wary and waited till I was quite out of the way before touching the bowl of milk that I put out. Looking closely, I could see why. Her right eye and surrounding area was swollen as though she had been beaten and her long fur concealed a bag of bones. 

Well, I think she has adopted us. She came to the front porch yesterday afternoon and shamelessly asked for more food. She lapped it all up and then professed her thanks by rubbing herself against my legs. I forbade further intimacies although the kids were ready to tango with her. I wanted to make sure that she had no infectious diseases and was scared that we may further hurt her bad eye.

Anyway, the cat is a fixture on our front porch now. I give her food in our back shed, but she comes back to the front porch, sits cozily on the front mat and even knocked twice on the door in an attempt to get in. Clearly she is accustomed to domestic comforts. Since I had warned the kiddos of fleas etc., the first time she tried to leap on to Anikkuttan's lap, Ani ran away screaming. I laughed my head off. When I invited her into my lap, she willingly came in and cuddled up, purring and butting her head against me. I checked her fur and skin for fleas or bites and found that she is nothing but a half-grown kitten. When I let her out, she made friends with Ani...

He chatted with her, asked whether she would prefer to be named after any of the girls in his class and generally took good care not to hurt her eye (which looks much better today). May be it's time we have a pet? 

It's considered good luck here when a cat chooses one's house as its home. Well then, we are blessed this Onam, even if we couldn't make pookkalams.

So here's a bunch of wishes for a Happy Onam and hoping you all had better luck with your pookkalams!!!

Anything to tilt the balance?

My day started off with gratitude meditation (on day 247 currently), a cold bath and some confusion regarding there being classes or not for the kids due to the statewide protest against fuel-price hikes. Having fed everyone and sent off DH to work, I sat down to breakfast and the newspaper. Nowadays, I usually skip the disaster news to avoid useless worrying. But I couldn't help noticing two items of news almost side by side in the inner pages: 

The one on the right side is about a murder. A visiting aunt strangled her  10-year-old nephew who had been asleep with his grandmother. She says it was so that her brother could finally divorce his estranged wife and start a new life since he was averse to losing his son through divorce. The murderer is said to be on some medication according to her family and is suspected of being unbalanced to have committed such a crime.

Please wait before feeling horrible and start cursing the whole of  the human race for depravity and self-seeking. Take a look at the news item on the left. The girl Anjali, who is being lifted was a brilliant student, dancer and singer who fell prey to muscular dystrophy while in the sixth grade. With advancing years, her dancing feet were stilled, but she still sang and earned good marks. Her father who should have been her mainstay was struck down by paralysis. Although Anjali got admission for a BBA course, she couldn't attend for one whole year because there was no one to take her to college.

Here is where her friend Linimol comes in. She had gained admission for a fashion designing course which would have secured her future careerwise. But when she saw her brilliant friend sitting at home helplessly, she quit her course, joined Anjali's college for BA and is now transporting her to college and back. Since Lini's parents are working in the Gulf, she will be staying with Anjali too. 

This is why I still have faith in humanity. This is why no one's predictions of  mankind going astray do not touch me. This is why I remain buoyantly optimistic - to some it may seem that I am excessively so. It is also because I know that while Lini's sacrifice has made the news because of its unique nature, there are millions more like her whose good acts do not make the news.

So, make no mistake, mankind IS moving forward to being better. There are still some souls who are in not-so-evolved states, but even they are moving forward. Swami Vivekananda said this ages ago, it didn't make much sense to me when I read him at the age of 17, but now I understand.

Isn't it good to know and believe this?

Another craft project out of the way! Yippee yay yay!

Take a look at the following picture:

It's a page from the Jan 2006 issue of Crochet magazine. I ripped it and the accompanying instructions out when I came back from Minneapolis in Dec, 2006 (Luggage space was at a premium, so I couldn't bring the whole mag!)

And today, I give you this:

This is the first doily I've ever tried and you can see it's a bit lopsided because my blocking skills are not that good. It had some tricky stitches in it - a horror called fpdtr (front post double treble stitch) that started at one place and ended somewhere totally crazy. I had to keep glancing at the picture to see if my fpdtr's was going the way it was intended to, and I think they were!

When I completed round 6, I found that these spaces in the middle were not aligned properly and had to unravel all till round 2 and make it all over again. That's one of the things I LOVE about crochet - it's so forgiving, we can always go back to where we made a mistake (provided we find it before everything is cut and knotted up!) and correct it!

The things I like the best about this doily is (a) the three-dimensional fans atop the 'columns' of gaps, (b) those bits of red peeking under the cream in the first contrasting edging and (c) all those complicated fpdtr's making a solid web effect.

So there it lies on our coffee table along with my home decor crochet project from last year. It took me only about SEVEN years and seven months to start this project!

Movie Review: Memories

Okay, the verdict is out - Prithviraj the actor trumps Prithviraj the producer this festival season! Last week we watched Kadal Kadannoru Mathukkutty which would have been better named Kadalil Mungippoya Mathukkutty. This weekend, the Association of Whodunit Fans at Karthi made a beeline for Attingal where Memories is playing. Another weird thing - we searched high and low for movie listings online since our daily did not carry the listings on Saturday (no paper on Friday because of Independence Day holiday). Know what? They simply were not available! Do let me know if there are any reliable online show listings for theaters in and around Tvm. We relied on Thursday's paper and kept our fingers crossed till we reached the theater and saw the movie hadn't changed on Friday.

Memories is the story of a cop Sam (Prithvi, of course) who has been trying hard to drown his sorrows in alcohol since the tragic abduction and murder of his wife and daughter. When a series of murders leave the police clueless, one of his former mentors (Vijayaraghavan) seeks Sam ostensibly for help and hoping that the challenge will kick him out of his apathy. Despite himself, Sam becomes involved in the case, but finds that he is mentally and physically incapable of being effective due to his drinking habit. The rest is really worth a watch...

Now, I take my whodunits seriously - for me to really like a detective movie, I need a watertight script (But then I also swallow anything romantic with my eyes shut!). My DH on the other hand just needs the movie to be "engaging" by which he means that with a little suspension of disbelief, and with the plot tension kept steady, he finds the movie good. This leads to some heated debates in Karthi. DH accuses me of poking holes in the tightest of scripts Eg., after watching Mumbai Police, {I had guessed the motive for murder in the first half}, I was wondering how the murderer had a hi-tech murder weapon lying around on hand to do a spontaneous murder, why he had got it in the first place and how seemingly absurdly outdated the motive was. The motive and the technology couldn't exist together even in the same decade. Also, how did amnesia cloud his "ahem" amorous sensibilities? So, I liked the movie for its terse action, wonderful dialogue and superb performances, but couldn't write a good review because the plot points bothered me. 

Memories also has a couple of such absurd plot points, but they are much more tolerable. And I have another way of measuring the quality of a movie - my kids bother me less for snacks and more for explanation of plot points!!! During Mathukkutty both of them kept pestering me for snacks ALL THE TIME while for Memories our older one was silent and on the edge of his seat throughout and the younger was asking doubts and holding one of my hands for reassurance! :-)

Prithvi delivers another good performance although he has nowhere near enough to do as he had in Mumbai Police. I feel the frequent glugging closeups were a bit overdone. One doesn't need to see the constant glugging to reinforce the fact that hero is a pathetic alcoholic - a little more subtlety would have been better.  The supporting cast also does its job well. The villain is also good  (won't reveal his name so that suspense is not spoiled). Rahul Madhav adds the right touch of estranged brother. Vanitha, Nedumudi etc. fit the bill. 

All in all, a good movie, enjoyable. Jeethu Joseph has got his basics and twists right.   

Remembering four ideal brothers...

Another Karkkidakam is drawing to an end... Ravana has been finished off, Sita has just passed her "fire-test" and Lord Rama is getting ready to take his family and army to Ayodhya (at least that's where I am in my annual reading of the Adhyatma Ramayana). As the monsoon rains slowly slacked off, hopefully to bring a sunny beginning to the new Kollavarsham, we left Karthi for the weekend for a jaunt to our hometown. 

This time, we had a definite pilgrimage plan on our agenda. Karkkidakam is the best time for the "Naalambalam" (four-temple) worship. The little town of Ramapuram ( north of Pala, Kottayam) has 4 temples dedicated to each of the Ayodhyan princes. (A similar foursome are the famous temples of Thriprayar, Koodalmanikyam, Moozhikkulam and Payammal in Thrissur and Ernakulam). A complete circuit of all the temples starts at the Ramapuram Sree Rama temple, proceeds to Lakshmana Swamy temple at Koodappulam, the Bharata Swamy temple at Amanakara and the Methiri Shatrughna Swamy temple, finally coming back to the Sree Rama temple once again. 

Our relatives who had gone for the Naalambalam darsan warned us of long queues that twisted and turned in the temple premises and then extended out into the long approach road and on to the main road at the temples. So we decided to start early. (Starting early is the usual way of things at Karthi. Although I am the only morning person in the family, when it comes to travelling, even our kiddos just have to be informed the previous day. They jump up all ready to go even at 2 am. They've been intensely trained since birth to do so, please don't envy us!!!) 

Thus last Saturday morning we were all bathed and dressed and ready at 4 am. From DH's home, it's just an hour's drive to Ramapuram: the roads are wonderfully smooth with a few "natural" speed breakers aka pot holes here and there. We had our first darsan at the Rama Swamy temple at 5:15 am. Bus loads of people were already arriving at the time, but we were in and out without hustle or hassle. 

The entrance to the temple was awash in lighting at the pre-dawn moment

We had a look at the "map" I have put at the top and wondered whether it would be enough to guide us. But thankfully, there are plenty of signs that point out the way to the next destination on the Naalambalam route.

Thus we easily reached the Kudappulam Lakshmana Swamy temple as dawn was breaking...

A steep flight of steps led us to the Lakshmana Swamy temple. I have never seen such a variety of flowering plants in one place as there is in the vicinity of this temple. It is a real feast for the eyes.

From Koodappulam, we headed towards Amanakara to the third temple in the quartet, the Bharata Swamy temple. The approach road to the temple is very narrow and not in good condition, so it is better to park at the side of the main road and walk down. The first thing we see is the temple tank as we approach this temple...

Meenoottu (feeding the fish) is an offering in this temple. We all enjoyed doing the same. 

Finally, we went to the Shatrughnaswamy temple at Methiri. This time - and the only time - the road was very rough and we proceeded very slowly and carefully. Thankfully, the verdant hills rolled out in endless vistas all around us to compensate for the road. If you are thinking of doing the Naalambalam route, you might want to avoid the route from Amanakara to Methiri and instead drive down to Ramapuram and then proceed to Methiri and return the same way as the Ramapuram-Methiri road is not one-way. 

Unfortunately I have no pictures of the Shatrughna Swamy temple as it was swathed completely in pandals and I couldn't take a discernible picture. Having completed our worship there, we proceeded back to Ramapuram to complete the circle. Fortunately, the second time over, we were directed to go in through the northern entrance to the Rama Swamy temple which is reserved for those coming back after darsan in all the four temples. We could see that the crowds had swollen considerably by then and it was just 8:45 in the morning. In the course of the morning, I caught Malayalam inflections of all sorts including the distinctive Ernakulam and Thrissur dialects. No wonder the queues were reputed to be really long by mid-morning.

On the way back, the part of my mind that was not agonizing over the umpteen twists and turns of the road was thinking about the special bond that the four brothers shared. In a world in which siblings fight over anything from a child's toy to their share of ancestral property, those brothers really set a high standard. One was willing to give up his birthright to his younger brother, one was ready to volunteer to live in the forest than let his brother go alone, the third didn't want the power that was thrust upon him and did all the work of governing a country by staying in exactly the same ascetic style his brother was following in the forest. The youngest one also followed suit. No wonder they are considered divine - just look at the models of "brotherhoods" we have around us in popular fiction, legends and scriptures. These four are really unique and rare in that they are of one mind always. Whatever happened around them, they always stayed together. 

It's a good thing to remember... at least once a year.

Don't be fooled!!!

We all want the best for our family, right? Especially when it comes to our kids. We want them to have a better education than we have had. We want them to stay ahead of the pack, never be behind at anything, never lack for anything...

Thus we become sitting ducks for every person/ corporate who has a child-oriented business. Right from the moment the baby is conceived, we are exhorted by "child experts" to let the fetus listen to the compositions of classical greats! Once the baby is born, we are sold umpteen contraptions to make the child more intelligent, better informed and a WINNER in all aspects.

The favorite tag line of most of these businesses is "leave the child to us during this age to this age when their brain development is at the highest". For example, when high-end "designer" pre-schools approach you for custom, they remind you that "the brain develops the most from birth to the age of three" and admonish you for having let your six-month-old waste 6 precious months of optimum brain development by having been at home with you. So you are urged to pack him/her off complete with baby formula. And within just six months you are supposed to beam proudly when your baby toddles up to the pictures on the preschool's colorful wall and points out the planet Neptune to you.

But hey, wait! Today I saw an ad for a health drink that assured me that all I need to make my 8-year-old a precocious scientific prodigy is to give him that drink from age 7-14 when - again - "the brain develops the most". Ahem, I'm confused. You mean, my kids' brain didn't stop growing the moment they turned three??? Can I finally redeem myself for not sending both my kids to pre-kindergarten by just giving them the health drink?!! Oh, how guilt-ridden have I been!!!

 

As the number of choices for co-curricular, extra-curricular and sport activities increase around us, it is easy for us to become bewildered and feel that our kids are losing out by missing one or the other, be it learning Vedic mathematics or cricket coaching or acting classes. 

I am no child expert, but I do have the leisure to observe the rat race several parents throw themselves into willingly and then complain and worry all the time. Here is my advice for what it is worth:

1. Whenever possible, take care of your kids by yourself. If you are a stay-at-home-mum/papa, don't feel bad that your child is not having a classy education by not going to a designer pre-school. Watching you doing home chores, playing with you and getting all the hugs and kisses that you give all day are the best studies in the world.
2. Working parents, don't  despair. Instead of sending kids to the ones that just promise the best brain development, try and find a place where they will be treated with love and care, a place where they will feel secure.
3. Don't worry at all about early brain development - the brain develops throughout our lifetime - as evidenced by my being able to learn how to ride a scooter at the age of 38. Ok, bad example. But consider this,  80-year-old illiterates can learn to read and write. So what makes you think that your child's brain won't develop past a certain age?
4. Whenever possible, let the kids help with chores around the house. This will mean keeping quiet when they make sloppy jobs of it, (I for one find it pretty tough to tolerate that too!) But encourage any effort from them with dollops of praise. Our 5-year-old wielded the rake today when I was weeding. I let him help and thanked him for wanting to do it. And let them play as much as they want in the kitchen. 
5. Put a limit to co- and extra-curricular activities. For those children who demonstrate extraordinary talent, go all out in encouraging them and training them. But not all children demonstrate such talent at early ages. For such children, just one extra-curricular activity is enough. Give kids some downtime each day to unwind and just play by himself/herself or raise hell with siblings. 

If you are a naturally competitive parent and consider all this advice bosh, you are free to do so. It takes all kinds to make the world go around and I'm glad for your existence. But if you are a slightly bewildered parent who is not sure/ feel guilty about your kids missing out, this is for you. It can be unnerving, I have been there. Be confident, push back at those who are trying to foist their child-oriented businesses on you.

And no, no health drink can make your child the tallest/ the strongest/ a mini Einstein. Ask your kid whether they want to BE an Einstein in the first place!!!

Star Sighting... Alas, not by Me!

There is no denying that I'm a starstruck person. I enjoy movies and follow my favorite movie stars' news and all that. But there is some part of me that shrinks from meeting them in person. I could say that I like to keep them as stars and not find that they have feet of clay or pimples on their face. But that would be just lying. It's the sneaking feeling that I will make a prize donkey of myself by blurting out some humongous blunder. For example:

Me: Sir, I really loved your work in Natholi oru Cheriya Meenalla!

Megastar Mammootty: ?!?!!?!?!!?

I have a chronic case of the cringes. I can remember the most trivial of social gaffes I have committed years ago suddenly and cringe and shudder. For example, I met one of DH's former bosses last year- a person who he admires and who I had come to admire a lot too. I couldn't come up with anything better than the meanest, most trivial things to talk about when I finally met the wonderful guy. I still cringe and suppress desperate urges to find the heaviest pan I can find to hit myself over the head with when I remember the incident. Probably when I encounter someone I admire I should say, "Please discount the things I blab right now and wait for my followup email. I write better than I talk". Which would be the truth anyway!

So now you can guess why I opted out when my family went off to watch the shooting of the new Mohanlal-Priyadarshan movie Geetanjali at a location not 5 km from Karthi this Sunday. The first stars they saw were the director himself and Innocent. 

It's so good to see the veteran actor back from his tryst with cancer albeit weaker than before. The Vanitha story of his meeting with Mar Chrysostom Thirumeni was one of the articles that held us up when my Ma's case was diagnosed. 

And then they got one out of four photo ops that the great actor gave as he came out of his trailer to  act in his next shot.

To DH's regret, Lalettan asked him to pick up Anikkuttan so that he would come in the frame. Little did the great actor know that our 5-year-old firebrand hates to be treated "like a baby" unless HE wants us to. So he struggled at the exact moment the pic was taken. Poor DH, all my sympathies are with him! (Although he will tell you that guffawing loud enough to crack the ceiling is a curious way of showing that sympathy)

As DH was explaining to the kids how a movie is made, a Benz car rolled in and a bearded figure got out. It took him some moments to realize whom he had seen as the person had no connection with Geetanjali

.

Yes! The great man Ranjith himself. NOW I really regretted not going with my family. But then, it was probably all for the good. The director would have been puzzled by a portly lady blubbering and probably swooning in true Victorian damsel style right at his feet. Thank you God for saving me from a cringe case of gargantuan proportions!

There are a few more pics, but I've shown you the best clicks. Enjoy!